do you know luke vibert?

here's the plan (take notes)

1. start a record label. just cd-rs, but spread them all around the city. make sure every person that goes to any sort of show has a copy of one of those cds.
2. throw a cd release party, and a "label release party" which signifies the start of the label.
3. "sign" a few friends, local artists, and throw cd release parties for them too.
4. get the majors to notice your little collective.
5. reap the benefits of having the most talked about indie label.

done.

in review.

well folks, 2006 is on it's last few days, so i figured i would do a little sum up of some of my highlights of the year. enjoy!

music

the most part, i found i got deeper into music that had been released prior to this year, but there were actually some really solid albums released this year.

joanna newsom - ys


this album is pretty hard to digest, but the more time you spend with it, the more it grows on you. i really couldn't stand "milk eyed mender", due to her extremely strange voice. it's funny how this album made me fall in love with that voice, and i can definitely say that "milk eyed mender" has become one of my favourites. the songs on this album are just incredible. the fact that jonanna newsom preforms these songs live makes the record, and her, even more amazing. if you take the time to get into this record, you won't be disapointed.

hot chip - the warning


i won't lie to you: i heard this album for the first time probably two weeks ago. i read about it in someone's year end review, and i felt compelled. let me tell you how glad i was that i stumbled upon it. this record is frustratingly catchy. the first time i heard "over and over" i thought, it's alright, but i don't see what the hype is about. of course, i couldn't get the song out of my head for the next few days. every time i listen to this record it gets more and more amazing. so danceable; so catchy.

tv on the radio - return to cookie mountain


of course, every magazine/webzine/blog/whatever will put this one in their top whatever of the year, but it's for a good reason. a brilliant follow up to a brilliant debut, "return to cookie mountain" has this appeal to the average ear that it seems most "indie" bands can't quite figure out. tvotr can write a dense, dark, creative album, and still have a video that gets played on MuchonDemand.

the knife - silent shout


straight up, this album is messed up. it's downright scary. the atmospheric quality about it gives it this mental picture of a barren, frozen wasteland, inhabbited by strange, dancing people with bird masks on their faces. i guess the promo pictures for the record help with that, but still. like joanna newsom, this one might be a bit of a stretch for your average person, but it's so rewarding.

camera obscura - let's get out of this country


for the record, i LOVE to fall asleep to this album. there are some great, upbeat pop songs on this record, but it's the slow, lamenting, love songs that really knock me out. "country mile" has to be the saddest song that's ever been recorded. of course, the belle and sebastian comparison happens all the time with camera obscura, but i'd have to say i'd listen to "let's get out of this country" over "the life pursuit" any day. i love both bands, and both albums, but every song on this record is a gem.

so that was five of my favourites, but here were some others that were occupying my headphones:

the album leaf - into the blue again
band of horses - everything all the time
voxtrot - mothers, sisters, daughters and wives ep
the decemberists - the crane wife
cat power - the greatest
tokyo police club - a lesson in crime ep
be your own pet - s/t
junior boys - so this is goodbye

thanks to everyone who made 2006 great. see you next year!

Jamison.

Apologies to God.

Chapter One: On The Holiest of Days.

Dear God: Creator, Heavenly Father, Ruler of All.

I know I don't, and can't, speak for every person on this planet, but I know a few who might be in agreement with the things that I am about to confess. I know it's late, and the caffeine in my veins is sprinting through the passages of white blood cells and cholesterol, but I pray that you would accept this verbal offering, welcoming it with open arms.

Lord God, please forgive me. My life is seems to be a constant disappointment. On even the holiest of nights, I am still a selfish, greedy, sinful human being. I'm so sorry that I think the things I do, and that I act with such sinful intentions. I pray that you would forgive these things with your beautiful grace, and your amazing love.

I am so thankful for this day; this beautiful day that lies before me. I pray that you would forgive us in North America (and the whole world, but especially us here) for turning this holy day into a "hallmark holiday". Lord, you are worth so much more than any material possession; so much more. Please God; teach me to rest in your grace, and to fall even more in love with you.

Even though we mess things up so badly, I'm so thankful that your love can still shine through; even though we blind ourselves to the death, poverty and famines, and concentrate so greatly on our material gain, I thank you so much for how you bless us. Families put aside differences and gather in love and fellowship; strangers wish each other well while passing on the sidewalk, rather than trying not to make eye contact. Lord, I thank you for the family you have blessed me with. Lord, I thank you for the friends that you have blessed me with. Please help me to be a better son, brother, and cousin to my family; help me to be a better friend. Lord, I thank you for my friends who don't know you, and the fact that you still love them, even though they may not necessarily return your love back. I pray that you would reveal yourself to them, and help them to see how much you truly do love them. Lord, I thank you for my friends who have come to know you. I pray that you would help them to become enamored with you, that you would help them to fall in love with you, truly experiencing the love that you give.

Lord, tonight, at the beginning of this day, I thank you, most of all, for the sending of your Son. The fact that you would not give up on us, and that you would sacrifice your own Son just to save humankind, even though we are sinful, pathetic creatures. Lord, I thank you for your love, and your grace.

And Lord. Thanks for music.

And Lord. Thank you for Sigur Ros.

And Lord...

Thank you for your love.

I pray for all these things in the holy name of your Son, Jesus Christ.

Amen.

latest additions.

1. bloc party - a weekend in the city
2. explosions in the sky - all of a sudden, i miss everyone
3. beck - the information
4. sufjan stevens - songs for christmas
5. the acorn - blankets ep
6. ryan adams and the cardinals - cold roses

songs.

Pulling Our Weight

We hurried along the streetlights, running from post to post, afraid of the darkness. We would find quiet places to huddle, as violent rain fell from an open sky, the warmth of the barrel fire keeping us warm; keeping us alive. At minus 10, the city would show its fangs, and we would all become victims of Jack Frost. His cold touch would create skating rinks out of roads, and turn us from t-shirts and shorts, into scarves and long underwear.

Sister Winter

A tired letter was composed with tired hands, tired eyes and tired sighs on that cold December evening. A full orchestra scored my scribbles, as my thoughts became ink dried onto paper. This tired letter wept my tears, and it felt the pain that I felt; it was in itself a feeling being, crying for forgiveness, apologizing and giving well wishes. I had never felt closer to anything or anyone, in my entire life. These created materials became more than just pen and paper. It became you and I; it became my struggles, my hopes and my fears. This pathetic letter, written on old paper, torn and frayed, became the last thing I could call me own.

Knitting Something Nice For You

The view from this third floor apartment stayed the same for at least half the year. The one day of the year that I distinguish as being completely unique from every other is the first snow fall: the one day when things go from ordinary, flat, plain prairie, to something magical. I quietly rocked back and forth, needles in my hands, subconsciously knitting some blanket, or something, when I first saw it. The first snowflake slowly fell to the ground, in the most peaceful, elegant manner. You wouldn't think it, but even at 85, a person can still get quite existential over things like this: I looked back on how many snowfalls I had witnessed, and how much I had changed from one to the next. I thought about my worth, the influence I had had on the people I had met. I looked down at my blanket-in-progress, smiled, and continued to knit.

o, how things have changed

It's hard to not feel something when you visit the house you grew up in, almost ten years later. I was drowned by a flood of memories, nostalgia and a longing to go back to that time of innocence. Every sense was firing on all cylinders: the smell of the maple tree in our front yard, the feeling on my hands of the old wood handrail that lead to our front door, to name a few. Certain things began to take me back to memories I hadn't thought about in years: the two huge pine trees in my front yard took me back to the time my cousins from Texas visited, and we spent the week climbing those massive conifers. But the thought that I just couldn't shake was the obvious change that had occurred, not only in the evident aging of our cozy home, but the change that had occurred in my own life.

I walked out of our three-bedroom home on October 28, 1998, not expecting to see it ever again. At 13 years old, having to go through a move across the country is a pretty impacting event. When I was 20 years old, I moved back to the city I grew up in, living not more than a 30 second drive from that house. My first day back in town, I had a longing to see the house, like a pining to see an old friend. My family had told me that it had become very worn-down, and quite the eyesore too. In spite of this fact, I still felt that I needed to see it. One afternoon, while my parents were at work, I decided to put on some music and walk down to the house. Though I was alone as I walked through a tunnel of orange, brown and yellow deciduous trees that ran alongside my old street, a soundtrack of soaring strings and beautiful synthesized pianos accompanied me. I slowly approached my old friend, and quietly looked up into those deep green pine trees, that I used to know so well. The front lawn had become a prison yard, with a high fence creating a barrier between the road and my old makeshift soccer field. I rested my crossed arms on one of the fence posts, and tricked my eyes into seeing the way things were. I didn't see the old, broken down cars in the driveway, or the chipped paint of the siding, or the front porch that cried out for a renovation. Rather, I saw the flowers my Mom had planted along the driveway, the fresh coat of bright blue paint on the sidings, and the welcoming front porch. I saw my brother and I playing catch in the front yard, as my Mom and Dad sat on that inviting porch, enjoying a lovely summer afternoon. Time travel, for that moment in time, was far easier than I would have ever imagined. All I had to do was close my eyes.

Time has a funny way of taking a memory, and changing it in every way possible. So many things change, but the strength of that memory will keep it the exact same. A memory is like an old paperback book, the quality of the paper may decrease and the binding may begin to break, but the story will never change. So much had changed from the last time I had seen that house, but no matter how decrepit the house had become, or how cynical I had become, the memories that I had stayed the exact same. It's interesting how much time will change something, but nothing will ever change time.

darker days, part one.

The rain will stay, and I’m alright with that. It will wash out all the hopes or dreams that we’ll conjure up, like a snowy winter or a sunny day. I quietly walked with my head down that morning, letting the rain slowly drip off the peak of my hood. As I walked through the grass, I noticed it had turned a dark green, rich with life; the soft blades had let their hair grow long. I dreamt about the sun, and in reverie I saw my summers to come. I quietly walked by you this morning, and I noticed you noticing me. The leaves had turned, and I suppose they won’t be turning back. People won’t shed a tear, though, when they fall, but rather they’ll laugh and smile as they watch the young family make memories, as they play in our fallen friends. I quietly walked through a pathway surrounded by large oak trees; the leaves fell like a storm of orange, yellow and brown down in front of me. I thought about the letter you wrote me. I promised you it would stay buried deep inside the pages of myself. We’ll meet again someday, and we’ll say all the things we wished we had said long ago. I know that all these things won’t fall too far from my heart.

There is a blanket that covers this city. We wander, aimlessly, witnessing each other’s wondering, and we question, “why are things the way they are?” The sun has become fed up with our aimless behavior, and he deserts us. Now all we’re left with is our fading fluorescent lights. Anyways, back to the blanket: thankfully in the sun’s absence, the blanket keeps us warm during the colder months, and we love to show it off to all our friends who live just past the mountains. They always swoon and gush over how lucky we are to have it, but, the truth is, sometimes I’d rather just be cold. Sometimes I’d rather be covered by a blanket of snow; blessed winter sunshine shining down on my face, which has become cold from the wind. O the wind! It blows with such a fury! And with no mountains around our humble prairie towns, it blows hard during the magnificent frozen sunsets. I can remember the safety and warmth that I could feel being indoors, like the city wrapped in it’s blanket feels. The snow looked like an orchestration of white eighth notes, falling as the conductor gracefully swayed his arms, sending the notes in motion.

My hands shook with tremors and chills of frost running through my frozen veins. I kept my eyes focused on the soft, untouched powder that lay before me, each step ruining this beautiful portrait of snow and earth. There was nothing to be heard. Only the soft sound of my lungs sucking in air, and spitting it back out. A sudden gust of wind gently said hello as it blew through the nearby trees. I watched as it slow-danced with the leaves, and sauntered with the branches, and as it blew the soft powder across the infinite field. I remember wandering down the ghost-town streets of this dead village, on one of those gray sky days. I dreamt that I was sauntering down some gaudy, lavished New York avenue, with all the shops lit up by thin white Christmas lights. I’d peer into the window of the abandoned electronics store, and a wide array of elegant dresses, and dapper suits hung off of mannequins.

on the day that Dennis Brown's lung collapsed.

During the winter of 1906, at the tender age of 10, I had my first encounter with death. It was early in the month February when my father, Elias Brown, decided to take his youngest son, Alexander Brown (me), hunting in the dense brush that surrounded our humble acreage. During the summers, this forest wonderland was my refuge from the monotony of chores, but during winter this forest was the kind of place that only adults trekked into. It was a invisible foe, with red eyes hiding behind every tree. It would whisper nonsensical words that would send cold wind through the branches of the high pine trees. It was a fortress that I was far too young to conquer, so I tended to steer clear of it. But since my father seemed so keen on killing ourselves one of the large elk that had become inhabited in that frightening forest, I obeyed my father’s command, and I accepted the fact that I had to overcome my fear of this beast.

Since we lived outside of any sort of metropolis, Father and I loaded up our buggy, and took the horses into town, to get some hunting supplies from the general store. A bell dinged as my father pushed open the wooden door to the store, and it was met with a jovial, “hello!”, which came courtesy of Dennis Brown, the shopkeeper. While my father and Mr. Brown made small talk, I slowly examined the goods Mr. Brown had just received. I always hoped I could find some sort of toy that would keep me occupied during the cold winter months, and since the family rarely made trips into town, I wanted to make sure I examined each item with a very critical eye. That’s when I saw it, the perfect item to kill my adolescent boredom: a wooden train. I slowly moved my hand across this miniature gift from God. I ran to my father with it, begging that he purchase it for me. “Now Alexander”, my father started (as he normally did), “you know that your mother and I are watching our purchases.” I never understood what that meant, but I always knew that nothing good ever came out of that phrase. “I also have to buy all these hunting supplies, which is going to load up to quite a pretty penny!” I slowly nodded my head and turned to put that glorious piece of wood back to its resting place. “But,” my father started, “I suppose we can make an exception, just this once.” I turned and ran into my father’s arms, the glee written all over my face. “So with that there train,” Mr. Brown started “yer total comes to two dollars and fifteen cents.” My father paid the man, shook his hand and bid him farewell. “Good luck with them elk!” He yelled as we exited his store.

Once the initial excitement of my new toy wore off, I began to remember the reason we went into town in the first place: the hunting trip. I began to conjure up more imaginations about the forest, and the different sorts of diabolical creatures that were waiting for me. Once my father and I got home we packed up our hunting supplies, a small lunch and laid out our warm clothes for the next morning. At dinner, my mother, Jayne Brown, nagged my father about his “unnecessary purchase”, and how they were “watching their purchases.” (That phrase again!). My father leaned back in his chair and smiled at me as if to say, “don’t mind her, son.” I could tell there, that he really loved me. My brothers, on the other hand, scolded me for being so lucky, and tried to scare me by telling me elaborate tales about how friends of theirs had disappeared in that forest, and how I was next. To their dismay, I stood tall and told them that I wasn’t scared of a thing! It was quite a performance; I was more scared than ever. That night I barely slept.

In the morning, after a breakfast of porridge and hot cider, my father and I ventured into that great abyss. I stayed close to him as we trudged through the wet snow, Father on the look out for elk, and I on the look out for monsters. We were a good team. All of the sudden, there was a great bustling in some of the trees to the north of us. Father quickly took a knee, and began to load his gun. I knelt closely behind him, and whispered, “what is it Pa? What’s out there?” He told me, “must be some elk. I’ll fire at the first one that comes out. Stand back, son.” I took a few steps back, then returned to one knee. After about a minute of silence, a large beast slowly moved out from the bushes. The next thing I remember is the loud “pop!” of my father’s gun. The beast fell to the ground with a large “thud”, and I ran up to my father in excitement. “You got it!” I cheered. My father dropped his gun, and picked me up in his arms, and told me “We got it, son!” We walked up to the large elk, and surveyed the damage: my father had pierced it right in the neck, and it would have died right as it hit the Earth. I had a lot of thoughts running through my mind as I watched the dead animal, in fact, more thoughts than a ten year old should be thinking. I realized that some day my father would die, and some day I would too. This had been the first time that death had become real to me. My father told me that even though this elk had died, that it would still serve a purpose in it’s death: its meat would keep our family, as well as our neighbors, fed for at least a few weeks. I wondered if after my death, I would still serve a purpose, just as this elk did.

The sun had already set as my father and I headed home, tired from a long day of walking in the cold. The lightless forest seemed de-mystified as we returned home. No longer did I see an impenetrable fortress; rather, I saw a dense forest, thick with life. The rest of the family was asleep as we returned, so my father and I quietly went to our beds, each of us going over our day. I fell asleep with a dream of my future dancing in my mind, of how someday I might take my son out to hunt for elk, and how it might change his perspective on some things in his life, even at a young age.

blue in green.

The pulsating swing rhythm slyly swayed her hips from side to side. The dimly lit room murmured meandering speech, and the occasional laugh bursted overtop of the trumpet's horn. But she couldn't hear it. All she heard was the gentle hit of the brush hitting the snare. She closed her eyes, lifted her arms and rested them on her head as the world outside her lids disappeared.

There was a moment, one beautiful holy moment, in which our eyes met: a slow song had slowly snuck up on us, and all of the sudden, a soft slur from some horn began to soundtrack our modern love. I looked down at my feet and grinned. The hazy fog of that dank club clouded her closed eyes, and she slowdanced herself to sleep. And O the bass! How could I forget that screaming, whispering, hidden bass that shook the soles of our feet, while it gently untied the strings in our shoes.

Undeveloped love was met by an infinite string of beautiful music that night. We'll just continue to glance for now; the memory that gets wrapped up in melodies and rhythm s is a hard friend to say goodbye to. The songs will be our soundtrack, and someday we'll have our dance.

rain.

today, i prayed that God would give me a sign of his love.

and today,

God gave me rain.

i believe that on any other day, i would have been downtrodden by this downpour, but today was different. today God gave me love.

today God gave me love.

today God gave me hope.

today God showed me showed me beauty.

today God gave me reverance.

today God opened my eyes to these things, and helped me to realize how blessed I am, how blessed we are, to experience these things every day.

today, God made rain just for me.

God made a beautiful storm, just for me.

i wish that I had some way to give him back all the wonders that he created for me.

right then i realized that i could.

i could give him the greatest creation in all of his creations:

i could give him myself.

my love.

i could give him these things, just as He has given them to me.


Life is beautiful, it will be beautiful, God is good.

things fall apart.

latest additions:

1. the national - alligator
2. page france - hello, dear wind
3. the knife - silent shout
4. love is all - 9 times that same song
5. beach house - beach house
6. silversun pickups - carnavas

eff.

i should have got my license when i could have. my ride fell through and that means no borat/poker/all around good time celebrating nate's birthday.

eff.

it gets dark here far too early.

Every person on the street stares into your car window as you drive by, with a look of resentment. A large crowd gathers on the corner, filing into an open cathedral, hoping that there’s enough soup for their hungry stomachs. People sit against cold brick buildings, waiting for something, like a lonely child waiting for their parent to pick them up from school. It’s hard to see the mountains with so many old decrepit buildings, looming over top of the streets. People walk down the streets with tired, sad faces, like a funeral procession. There’s no natural light, but rather a collage of neon glow, headlights and red and blue police lights; it seems like the moon doesn’t want anything to do with this place.

dear shaina.

this weekend was the most compromised of my life. everything, and that's not a bad hyperbole, but honestly everything, has steered me away from seeing marie antoinette. let's review:

1. on thursday night we decided to head to the biggest movie theatre i've ever seen. i looked up the worldwide release dates for the film, and it was playing there, so i mean, i had to go right? well, the other three people i went with, though very nice and sweet, heard people say that it was a terrible movie. first off, sofia coppola does not make bad movies. it's not subjective. her movies are not subjective. they are all amazing. anyways, i couldn't pull enough of a vote to change their minds, so we went and saw the presige, which was pretty good i suppose.

2. today we went to a&b sound, where i was planning on picking up the soundtrack. little did i know that there have been some complications with their distrobution, and they weren't carrying it.

so i wish you were here so we could:

1. go see that beautiful movie.
2. listen to the soundtrack on a real cd. sometimes (actually most of the time) listening to music on a computer just doesn't do it. you know?

either way, i've still got tonight to find my way there. hopefully things will work out.

Love,
Jamison.

sofia.

i can not get over this record.

shaina has a really funny way of being prophetic. the night i got it, her msn little name was "new wave is the answer to every question tonight". shaina, new wave is the answer to every question...ever:

"dear jamison, what is the opposite of an old wave?"
new wave.

"dear jamison, what genre of music has and will transcend generations, and will make our grandchildren shake their bums, just as we do today, and our parents did way back when?"
new wave.

"dear jamison, my girlfriend just dumped me, what should i do?"
new wave.

either way, if your in anyways lucky enough to have ears, and drums inside of them, then go right now and buy the marie antoinette soundtrack. you'll dance, you'll cry, you'll probably go..."hmmm?", chances are you might even decide for yourself that new wave can save the world. just as i have.

this weekend i decided that people shouldn't put that much importance on talking to babies. i mean, when you say, "hey there! how are you!?", you know what's going to happen. NOTHING. the baby is going to look at you, with scared eyes, and just sit there. it can't talk. now i'm sure that if people didn't talk to babies they wouldn't learn how to talk. but you know what, i wouldn't mind a generation of people who just kept their mouths shut. case in point: my philosophy of worship class. people need to realize that not every member of the class wants to hear their jokes, or their meandering "insight". we're blessed enough that we can read and write. maybe we should just end it there. besides, who even talks to anyone anymore. it's all instant messaging. or blogs. or text messages. soon we'll be communicating through our minds, and those will become useless too. hmmm, that's it! if we stop talking to babies, it will force us to focus more greatly on advancements in telecommunication. i fricking rule.

speaking of meandering insight...

i didn't mention them in my friends blog post, but man, this is a darn good one:

a sait of affairs - kevin, brandon and joel give the average reader some insight into the life of a student at SAIT, a university in Calgary. and let me tell you, this is some good stuff. look for the entry where kevin trys to swallow a flash drive. you won't be let down.

alright, time to find a nice window spot, and read my afternoon away.

farewell.
Jamison.

oregon.

this week's latest additions aren't so much new, but rather they're old records i re-discovered. get yo self INTO it!

1. dntel - life is full of possibilities
2. zero 7 - the garden
3. you say party! we say die! - hit the floor
4. jose gonzalez - veneer
5. interpol - turn on the bright lights
6. mates of state - bring it back

might go to oregon in march.
might release a cd in march.

we'll see what happens.

also, i'm re-reading "through painted deserts". i thought there was a really beautiful line, so i highlighted it. i've never done that in a pleasure read. anyways, here's a lovely selection of words to leave a nice feeling in your stomach.

"I don't want to think about life anymore; i just want to live life."

Jamison.

tired.

i was up at 6:30 today.
i'm so tired that i fell asleep during acting class. it was the prof's fault though. i mean who does relaxation exercises anyways.

squarepusher is hot to death right now.

so is the yamaha psr-75 keyboard. best tone bank ever.

everyone's getting blogs now. i've never felt closer to my friends.

today i had to have a sensory experience, so i walked barefoot in some grass. am i poetic or what!? it was alright, but the grass was a little cold, and the leaves were very crunchy and kind of hurt. on the plus, wearing shoes after it felt amazing. you don't realize how great shoes (things) are until you lose them. like bobby. just jokes, he's always been great.

i found my old headband. it, too, is hot to death.

also, egg nog is back on the market. pumpkin pie is still available too. suck it shaina.

marie antoinette: amazing soundtrack, probably the movie of the year? callin it now.

alright, i'm in the most intense five person coversation ever. off i sway.

Jamison.

friends.

think i've got insight on things. not compared to these folks:

a vintage valentine - the writings of the lovely shaina les panther.

my thoughts on a monday night - a lovely young man named zach, who is alot deeper than i was at his age.

the littlest viking - one of my favourite people in the whole world, with the best blog name i've ever heard.

struck down but not destroyed - a modern day theologian, jumo's insight into Christianity, and all around life, is beautiful and inspiring.

lurk! lurk! lurk!

pulling our weight.

latest additions.

1. copeland - eat, sleep, repeat
2. ost - marie antoinette
3. ryan adams - heartbreaker
4. malajube - le compte complet
5. mogwai - zidane: a 21st century portrait soundtrack
6. camera obscura - let's get out of this country

whispering the gardens to sleep.

a love that falls, like leaves to the ground
won't speak much louder than a whispering sound
that quietly plays the drums in your ears
with brushes so gently, yet perfectly clear.

a love that screams at the the top of its lungs
will begin to sing songs, never before sung
with mighty brass and rising strings
the conductor will smile, as together we sing.

a love that weeps as you throw it aside
will bury its feelings so deep inside
and wait for that moment when you're at your least
to wipe those rain drops off of your cheek.

a day will come, when this love is revealed
it will seperate between us what's fake and what's real
it will soon become the secret we can't keep
and we will whisper the gardens to sleep.

the beauty of everything.

(this was written under one of my favourite trees)

beauty is a funny thing. it seems like the whole world is striving to find this sense of what true beauty is. we try to make ourselves look, and portray this idea of beauty. unfortunately, the sad truth is that we're so consumed with it, that we don't realize it's right in front of us.

we are beautiful. the fact that i can write these words is beautiful. this ink soaking into this paper is beautiful. we spend so much time worrying about beauty, when all we really have to do it open our eyes.

life is beautiful, it will always be beautiful, God is good.

i'm thankful for the beauty of life. i'm thankful God made such a beautiful, articulate, complex world. i can be consumed by sadness and grief, and just by leaning back against this tree, watching the leaves fall, and saying "God is good", all the grief can drift away. i'm thankful that God gave us beauty, and i want to make sure i live my life with that thought in mind.

/

at the exact moment i stopped writing, two friends of mine, who just happen to be madly in love, appeared, and asked, "how are you?" i smiled, and replied, "i'm happy."

le robot sexy.

i wrote some words and took some pictures in the last 24 hours. let's take a look:







weirdest wendy's experience ever





the words.

illinois.
a very short story.

there's a certain level of excitement that just can't be stopped from showing itself. the first road trip. our parents had loaded us up with snacks, small change and hugs. it felt like we were embarking on this romantic adventure. we were adventurers. of course ten hours, and two states isn't that much of an adventure, but you couldn't of convinced that to us. we were young, and invincible. we were alive. we loaded up the ship and kissed our mom's goodbye. i sat behind the wheel of this Volkswagen Vessel. our maps had been charted and the bottle had been broken. my first mate gave me the signal, and with the fury of ten monsoons, i launched us into first gear. i'll never forget the beautiful sound of grinding metal, excited chatter and AM radio, all blended into one. our minds raced at the thought of Chicago. our hearts beat faster than ever before.

as the sun set in the distant west, the others all slept. the world flew by me. the colours of the setting sun reflected of the lakes made of glass. the cool air blew my hair into a thousand different directions. i seemed to think about things that i had never thought of before. i thought about life, and love, and how my gang and i would end up. we were so young. i thought of her. we thought we were in love, but i wondered if i'd ever remember her. i figured we would grow apart. all these things seemed to be insignificant at the time though. all that was important was the view in front of me. the prairies seemed to be mine that night.

all of us fell in love on that trip. we fell in love with life. we experienced a taste of the glory, and the beauty that this life has for us. we got lost; we marveled at the lights; we laughed.

we lived.

wrapped up in books.

i realized the other day. i haven't just sat and watched a movie in at least three weeks. i've been pretty busy with school/homework/reading, and i haven't really taken any time to just sit and relax. i think i'll make time for that this weekend.

i read a new book! it was beautiful. my friend amanda reccomended it to me, and when i found out that the authour just happened to be the same guy that wrote one of my favourite books ever. the book is called "through painted deserts" and it's by Donald Miller. i couldn't reccomend it enough. in fact, come aske me if you can borrow it. as long as i get it back, i'd love to lend it to you.

though i haven't watched many movies lately, i have been listening to music. alot! you can track my progress here. lately it's been alot of ryan adams, lots of radiohead, lots of theivery corp, and lots of ninjatune. i showed jesse jaga jazzist the other weekend. he was really affected by it, and that's sweet to hear. i love it when music really makes a difference to people. i also know how much he loves music, so it's also encouraging.

things have been going well at school. i write alot of emails. mostly to three people, but still, they seem to get me through the day sometimes. i've been playing this card game called "rook" with some friends i've made there. it's a good time. it's the kind of thing where we don't really talk about anything but rook, but after we played two of the guys and i stuck around the lounge and talked about life. it's nice getting some new perspectives on things, and just meeting new people in general.

now, on to the reason you're really here:

THE MIXTAPE TO END ALL MIXTAPES

5. Roots Manuva - Chin High (Manuvadelics Version)



Just try not to nod your head. Man, the groove in this song is just sick. That whole siren/bleep/synthy thing, that pans from left to right makes the song. Not to mention that Roots' flow is better than a good 75% of most rappers out there today. If you're not so much into Hip Hop, give it a try anyways. It's worth it.

UPDATE: I had this sweet new way to host songs, but it isn't working out. So if anyone has a suggestion of a good place to host MP3s, let me know.

The Mixtape Thus Far:
1. The Album Leaf - Always For You
2. Sigur Ros - Hoppipolla
3. Squarepusher - Iambic 9 Poetry
4. My Bloody Valentine - Sometimes (right click, and save as)
5. Roots Manuva - Chin High (Manuvadelics Version) (right click, and save as)

Peace and love!
Jamison.

cold feet.

literally. i need some socks.

want to see the view from my window?

blue in green.

where do people find hope.

what is it that keeps a person from just ending their life. a typical "Christian" answer is that as a follower of Christ, i have hope in an eternal life with Jesus. I feel blessed to know, and believe, that, and i know that many other Christians feel the same. I also know that many Christians that agree with that, still find themselves scared and unable to stay positive about their faith. and why shouldn't they! this life we're stuck in is really crappy. do you know how much deception, manipulation, shadiness, and all around terrible things go on from day-to-day? we're forced to deal with death, wars and sadness, with a smile on our face the whole time? why should we have hope.

i'm not a pessimist. i take pride in the fact that when i look at a situation, i can see the good in things; when i look at a person, and i see that they're struggling, i can see the good in them. i think that we need to take hope in love. we need to let people know that they're loved. we shouldn't tear others down, but rather we should build one another up, continuously. all the petty grievances, the pointless quarrels, these are the things we need to leave behind. why can't our generation be known for our ability to love one another. is it really so hard? honestly.

why does it feel so hard to make a difference.

THE MIXTAPE TO END ALL MIXTAPES

4. My Bloody Valentine - Sometimes (right click, and save as)



Take a big breath in. Exhale.
Listen.

The Mixtape Thus Far:
1. The Album Leaf - Always For You
2. Sigur Ros - Hoppipolla
3. Squarepusher - Iambic 9 Poetry
4. My Bloody Valentine - Sometimes (right click, and save as)

makes sense.

i'll let Paul do the speaking today.

“And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” (Col 3:17)

“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men,” (Col 3:23)

MIXTAPE TO END ALL MIXTAPES

3. Squarepusher - Iambic 9 Poetry



I've called this song "one of the most beautiful songs i've ever heard", and it truly is. Everything about this song: The structure, the warm sound, the frantic drum beat at the end. the way the whole thing just builds up, with this beautiful atmospheric bliss.

The Mixtape Thus Far:
1. The Album Leaf - Always For You
2. Sigur Ros - Hoppipolla
3. Squarepusher - Iambic 9 Poetry

that you're relying on to lead you home.

i can't stress this enough.

the whole mysterious act? it's not as fun and exciting as it looks. because if you don't put yourself out there, and just sit back, it's pretty darn lonely. feeling accepted and being befriended is a much more rewarding experience, rather than being anti-social. it's alot easier to find out about people, and yourself, if you're open and talkative.

either way, my plans for my mysterious campus life sucked. so i bailed on it, and decided to start being talkative. and what do you know, i had a few lovely conversations today. a conversation with a new person is better than sitting alone, blocking out the outside world. though there's a place and time for that, don't get me wrong.

anyways, let's move on. tonight was a good night. i really love people and friends and sitting around talking about music and dr. pepper and birthdays and seeing old friends and daft punk. lucas, brodie, brendan, rob and i hid in our booth and laughed, and laughed more, and then lucas would play us a ringtone, and then we'd quote the office, and man. i can't express how nice it was to have a good laugh. and those guys kept me in stiches.

i WILL see the album leaf in vancouver, in november. also, i guess the kings of leon are opening for BOB DYLAN (uhh..wow) in vancouver. i suppose if i miss that i'll be kicking myself.

continuing with our lovely mixtape project:

THE MIXTAPE TO END ALL MIXTAPES

2. Sigur Ros - Hoppipolla



Beautiful. Sigur Ros is just beautiful. In a world where there is so much hate, and pain, and pure ugliness, there are a few bright lights. I think that Sigur Ros' music could change lives. If everyone could just sit down, listen to Takk..., maybe enjoy a warm cup of tea, alot of the world's problems would just melt away.

I love this band, and I hope you do too.

sawdust and diamonds.

so the last few days have been pretty intresting.

i haven't really done all that much, but i sure have given my ears a workout. i think i've listened to more new music in the last two days, than i have the whole summer. new records by joanna newsom, the decemberists, the rapture, ben kweller and a whole lot of brian wilson.

the thing that's good for you, is that i've been feeling generous. for the next little while, i'm going to be posting a song along with the blog. it's kind of like that "infinite mixtape" thing that pitchfork does. only mine will have a better name, and be less pretentious.

so, i proudly present:

THE MIXTAPE TO END ALL MIXTAPES

1. The Album Leaf - Always For You



first things first: i love the album leaf. i mean, alot. i think "in a safe place" might be my all time favourite album. so of course i was going to love the new album. but would it top "in a safe place". the albums are diffrent, though they definetly keep that same "album leaf" sound. the one thing that really sticks out to me about the new album is the presence of the vocals. there are at least four tracks with vocals, and that's definetly not a bad thing. they're actually really good. i think that that's demonstrated here on "always for you". there's still that laid back, rhodes-ey feel, but the vocals make it so much more accessable. i think this is the kind of song that could turn the album leaf into a household name.

see you tommorow.
Jamison.

i see monsters.

done with captain!
we had a good time last night, but i'm definetly glad it's done. time to move on, and upwards.
i got to spend the day with a lot of really good people. jamison's bbq was alot of fun. i was really relaxed, which i guess is one way to put it. who knows what that means. don't even ask.
lots of swimming this week.
if you want to see me before i leave, then lets get together. i'm not sticking around for much longer.
sleep tight.

mixtape number two: good times.

the music that plays when nothing can get you done, (in alphabetical order).

1. the arcade fire - rebellion (lies)
2. beck - hell yes
3. belle and sebastian - wrapped up in books
4. bloc party - little thoughts
5. broken social scene - pacific theme
6. clap your hands say yeah! - is this love?
7. daft punk - one more time
8. despistado - a stirstick's prediction
9. dntel - (this is) the dream of evan and chan
10. the februarys - where the wind blows
11. the faint - your retro career melted
12. the format - oceans
13. the go team! - panther dash
14. kings of leon - the bucket
15. the long winters - ultimatum
16. mates of state - beautiful dreamer
17. metric - poster of a girl
18. of montreal - forcast facist future
19. sherwood - the only song
20. sylvie - common art

have a good one with THAT

on a slower night.

so jumo says i haven't been posting enough, and that's fair i guess. i haven't really been overly busy, i just haven't had much to write about i suppose.

the summer is over! or at least it feels that way. the fall is bringing all sorts of new and exciting things. i will be heading back west for school, which i'm pretty stoked on. i have this idea for myself. i don't really know many people going there, so i'm going to walk around with my headphones alot, and become that quiet guy who listens to music all the time. and when someone tries to break through my outer shell, and find out what i'm all about, they'll ask, "what are you listening to?" and i'll give them my headphones and it will be like animal collective or some random nonsensical indie band that will create even more of a mystique for me. i think that sounds like fun.

i'm also going to be focusing alot more on my tremulance stuff. if you don't know me at all, and don't know what that is: myspace | purevolume. consider yourself educated.

on a lonely evening.

i'd definetly rather be with her tonight.

i had a good week in govan with go jeff!!! if you're smart you'd bookmark their myspace page, and wait for the day they post a track off the record. you'll shake yourself in such happiness. i swear, i can't help but tap my toe when i hear it. here are some of my favourite moments:

"it's a dream come true."
"it's a cat."
"tommorow morning, you'll find your womb on the ceiling."
"but guys, i don't seriously eat babies."
-"what's on your egg sandwhich?"
-"that's an egg SALAD sandwhich.
"come on, live a little. shake it up! shake it up...SHAKE IT UP"
"lesbian free"
"ioof!"

i had a nice suprise today too. my good friend bobby stopped by and we went out on the town. mostly just to the mall and the record store, but still. lots of laughs. makes me miss the last few years. i guess i have to keep looking forward.

still, i guess i just miss her.

slow night, so long.

i don't even know where to begin.

the last month has kind of been a blur. the start of the month was spent at Living Springs Bible Camp, just outside of Camrose, AB. not only did i get to play a show with the captains, but i also got to be a cabin leader, with a rad group of guys. after the week there, we spent another week in regina, just hanging out, going swimming. you know, the usual. this last week was spent at another camp in middle-of-nowhere, saskatachewan. though it was great to be a cabin leader at the first camp, it was great to have just the music to worry about at this camp. without the responsibility of taking care of kids, i got to sleep a lot more, and play a whole lot of freecell. now i'll be back in the city for a few weeks before we take off for our last camp.

now that you're caught up, here's what's actually important.

these last few weeks have really made me realize how important and poignant my faith really is. i've been a christian for my entire life, and it took me this far to really grasp the importance of the life of Jesus Christ. i don't know what you, random reader, believes in, but i can tell you that i have never felt more secure and thankful for my faith. i'd always heard people saying, "Jesus died for your sins", but it really wasn't until this month, that it really sunk in, how amazing that really is. maybe all this comes from the fact that i was baptized this month, but i don't know. i think it's funny how easy it is for christians to just cruise through life, not thinking of what an amazing God we have. we accept whats around us so easily, when the fact of the matter is, it's what's waiting for us after life that is going to be the real treasure.

anyways, maybe that will make you think about things. i hope it does.

Jamison.

the very hush hush (part three)

time to conclude this little number.

after our few days off in regina, we headed back on the road to finish up the last few dates of the tour. the first night was in saskatoon. the lineup that night was reallly sick, so we were definetly stoked to be there. unfortuantly, the drive to saskatoon from regina takes about three weeks. i don't know why it feels like it takes forever, but my word. the longest, boringst trip. either way, we showed up, and called our boi Jimmy. he gave us a floor to sleep on, and a sweet little x-men video, with a lot of swearing in it, to watch. the show was great that night. we got to see Means play one of their first shows with Tyler on bass. it was suppper good, and we danced and had a great time. i also got to see Jumo, who is a reader of this blog. so a big shout out to him for coming and rocking out with us.

so the next morning it was off to swift current, home of my favourite person in the whole world: Bobbykins! we cruised into town, and were hanging out at mcdonalds, when this van full of a bunch of our friends shows up. we cruised around for a bit, and then headed to the venue. the "lyric theatre" was definetly the most interesting venue we played in on this tour. there's like a disco floor, and the stage has like an emptied moat around it. it was alot of fun. we dedicated the set, and every song individually to bob, who came and shreaded his lungs for a song with us. it was a great time. after the show we had a great time talking at BPs. i also witnessed Drew consume his first pint. he hadn't ate anything the whole day, so he went from being talkative to...very talkative. but it was all good. there were alot of sweet people in swift, and lots of encouraging words were said. so many thanks to all our friends in swift.

after swift was our last show of the tour, in moose jaw. it was great going back and having such a good turnout. we chilled with our palz in Go Jeff!!!, who were definetly one of my favourite bands to watch. they will make you dance, and possibly intoxicate you, just with their music. it was a good night too. and it was nice to be back in regina that night.

anyways, with tour over, we've had lots of time to hang out, and go swimming. it's been REALLY hot lately, so we've spent alot of time in our friends pool. i think we're making a music video out of all the fun underwater videos we've taken. i'll post some fun pictures someday.

hope you're all doing well! take care.

Jamison.

the very hush hush (part two)

where did i leave off?

weyburn! shainas and jennifus met as at dq, and we all enjoyed sweet ice cold treats. we also went to the sweet weyburn mall, and looked at the kitties in the pet store. we spent the afternoon lazing around shaina's place, watching little nicky, being sweet. we were met at the venue by kelly thiessen, who runs TAGS (the venue). now, this place is probably the coolest venue we've played at yet. the room upstairs is where the bands play, and downstairs there's this rad lounge with video games and fun. we got to hang out with our bffz in restrain the enemy. brennon asked if we wanted to play x-BOX. we all laughed alot.

after the show we went to tim hortons and got made fun of for being "emo". kalen and i are going to burn down their houses. but not actually. internet police!! anyways, when we got back to shaina's, kalen was watching a clockwork orange. that is a strange movie. we fell asleep watching fletch. not a great movie. thankfully i have my "sleep" mix, and azure ray sang me right to sleep.

we left for regina sometime in teh morning. at breakfast i got to sit in a big sweet chair, and it made me feel like the best. thanks for the chair shaina. we squished five of us in our station wagon somehow. karl bought us chips and pop, and it made the ride much more enjoyable. we pulled into regina, and went straight to dinner with the rte boys. hanging out with those guys definetly reminds me why i'm glad to be back in regina. friends are amazing, and i'm so glad i've got to see so many this tour. anyways, regina was such an amazing show. so many friends. so many new friends. everyone just gave us so much love.

we got a few days off in regina, which was also soooo nice. then we headed off to winnipeg, for some really good times. i got to spend every night with my lovely friend Kim. we got some good bubble tea the first night, good perkins the second night, and good nacho libre the third. the show in winnipeg was small, but my older brother got to see us play for the first time, so that was really cool. i think i like winnipeg a little more after every trip. we also watched..ALOT of lost. which was also, ridiculously good.

after winnipeg was russell, mb. we got to spend the night with our bffz in the fortuante, and got to listen to some GOOD hardcore music with them and our new friend in anew. both bands are sick like aids, and just.really good. and the breakdown in "this is more" by stick to your guns is the heaviest thing EVER.

"MOVE!"

anyways, after russell, we headed back to regina, and today i went to the imax. we also bought some herbal cigarettes and took pictures of us smoking them. just tough.

i think i'm going to go buy the outsiders tonight. just a great book.

LOVE YOU!!!!

Jamison.

the very hush hush.

good times.

my friend drew says, "good times" alot. these last few weeks have definetly deserved the phrase. i'm in winnipeg right now, and i've had the pleasure of seeing so many good people while i've been here. anyways, the whole thing started in alberta:

medicine hat was an interesting day. we were all a little tired from the trip, but by the time we finished walking around superstore, looking for a healthy meal, we all seemed to be back in good spirits. we settled on carrots and ranch dip/pumpkin pie/bread/choclate milk...delicious. so we sat outside of the superstore, and enjoyed a very warm day. we walked over to the mall, checked out hmv, picked up an essential cheap tv show box set on dvd, and were off to the venue. if there's one thing to say about medicine hat, it's that the kids that go to shows are really nice kids. they may not be a huge fan of your music, but man, they're so nice. we met a super nice christian kid named Travis, who makes music as "7th Ave." him and his friends were so welcoming and nice to us, that they made us feel right at home. we played horrendus that night. there were only two outlets in the whole venue, and i'm pretty sure they weren't grounded correctly. either way, i had to plug my guitar into the PA system, which sounded like utter trash. because of our lame technical issues we only played four or five songs. again, the kids were nothing but kind to us. as we packed up our gear, lots of people came and talked with us, and made us feel a bit better about our crappy preformance. that night we also met our new friends in Adverse Vital Signs. easily some of the nicest guys we've played with. we were stoked that we would get to play three nights in a row with good guys.

so after the show we made the late night trek to swift current, home of our favourite person in the whole world, Bobby! we had all met bob at briercrest, and we soon became total bff. anyways, that night as the rest of the guys slept, bobby, brett (bobby's roomate) and i stayed up laughing at myspace bulletins, and having sweet webcam conversations with girls in bc.

we slept in nice and late the next morning, then headed to mcdonalds after some quality television watching. (roger lodge is a king among men). we said our goodbyes with bobbykins, and were off to the next show in moose jaw. we were all pretty stoked about playing in moose jaw, seeing as we've always had fun experiences playing there. it was raining pretty hard that day, but it didn't seem to get our spirits down. we hauled in all our gear, and then sat in the mall for a few. the cdplus didn't sell any album leaf, but they did have a ben gibbard/andrew kenny split ep, that i didn't buy for some reason. anyways, we headed back to the venue to find out that our friend Brad wasn't aloud to come to the show, because his parents thought it would be too late on a school night. it sucks because i know he wanted to see us play pretty bad. thankfully we'll be back at the end of june, and he'll be able to make it then. anyways, that night was like a reunion. we saw so many old friends, that it made us realize pretty quickly why we moved back to the praries. our set was MUCH better that night, opposed to in Med Hat. i was blown away at how many kids were singing along, and rocking out. i love how not only did we get to have a great night playing music, but we got to do it with so many friends. two of our friends came from the camp they were working at, and they offered to have us over at the camp for night. of course we agreed (we're actually leading worship at the camp later in the summer), and off we went. we kept rob awake on the drive by talking about the band. andy kept saying "he didn't give a rat's ass", but none of us really know what that means.

we made it to the camp safe and sound, and that morning we (andy and i) slept in, which was followed by some serious "lost" watching. our friend Mark had never seen any episodes, so we watched the first two episodes. (andy and rob are now both getting into it. i love it!) anyways, we spent the rest of the afternoon drinking coffee and playing chess. watching Karl and Drew play chess was like the funniest thing i've ever seen. somehow our imaginations made a game of chess into some crazy battle, war thing. don't even ask. andy and i also messed up a pot of coffee. which lead to a conversation my friend Kim and I had, but that's a whole other story.

so we left from camp, to assiniboia, where we were playing that night. it was great seeing another old briercrest friend Aaron. he was kind of enough to not only let us play, but he let us crash on his floor that night AND his parents made us pancakes the next morning! assiniboia was a super fun show, with a good turnout. the stage was really high though. i felt so blessed to be able to look into the crowd and see people singing along. such a change from just a year, where no one knew or wanted to know us. praise the Lord! after the show we went to the Assiniboia Relay for Life. i guess people walk around their civic center, raising money for cancer research (i think? correct me if i'm wrong). anyways, our friend Grayson has a new band, and they were playing a set. they're all really young, but man, they have some CRAZY potential. they didn't have a name, so drew came up with "The History" for them. so if you ever hear about a really rad band out of Gravelbourg called The History, make sure you check them out.

it's really late, so i'll finish this lovely story later. i'll post some pics as soon as i can too!

i love you! and chances are i really miss you, and can't wait to see you again.

Jamison.

in this ha-ha-home on ice.

the thing about these bands, is that they're really good. maybe you've heard of them, and you scoff at the notion that you haven't. but maybe you haven't, and you'll thank me for them later. either way, enjoy:

clap your hands say yeah!
this band has NO label support...none. the fact that i can go to any cdplus/hmv/whatever and pick up their disc is support that this band has something going on. last year they were called the "hottest unsigned band" in the states. pitchfork gave their debut record a 9.1. the truth is, they're worth the hype.

http://www.myspace.com/clapyourhandssayyeah

islands
the unicorns were a band from montreal. islands started a few months after the unicorns broke up. they seem to share the same sense of indie pop, catchiness, but with a more optimistic way of getting things done. though the band just had their drummer leave, expect more great things.

http://www.myspace.com/islandsareforever

dungen
last fall, dungen's second record, "ta det lungt", was my favourite record to fall asleep to. now, this doesn't mean they're some sort of ambient, album leaf-ish group (not that there's anything wrong with that). these guys actually really rock. they've got this fuzzy, psychadelic sound, that just melted me into sleep. oh yeah, they sing exclusively in sweedish!

http://www.myspace.com/dungen

wolfmother
these guys get alot of rad publicity. i saw them play on "muchondemand" for crying out loud. regardless, they just straight up rock. i think they've released one of hte best albums of 2006. just TRY and not nod your head to "dimension"

http://www.myspace.com/wolfmother

you say party! we say die!
the captains had an oppurtunity to open for this lovely band. i had picked up their cd as soon as i moved to bc, and i wasn't disapointed. they're live show is even better. expect BIG things from this band.

http://www.myspace.com/yousaypartywesaydie


Jamison.

in a safe place.

i wish i could write. not like this, write, but like write write. i wish i could just pick up a guitar and write a song. my friend andy can do it really well, and i've always been a little jealous of that. (i know he reads this so, here's looking at you kid). anyways, today i realized that i haven't wrote a song in forever. now most of the songs i do write don't end up as captain songs, but that never really bothered me. it seems like every time i pick up a guitar, i can't think of anything new to do. just the same songs. at least i've got this. maybe i'll start focusing my independant creativity on something like...writing this blog! or, maybe i'll follow in my friend drew's footsteps and write a novel. i always liked that scene in waking life, where the guys in the coffee shop, writing furiously. this girl then asks him, "what are you writing". he starts to tell her about a story, that is just the characters living life. maybe that's what i'll write about. four early twentys musicians, struggling to make ends meet, while trying to pursue a dream, that everyone thinks they should give up on. i doubt it would get published. maybe i'll write a screenplay. who knows. i've got all summer to do something productive and artistic and creative with my time. chances are i'll end up eating alot of fast food and watching too many movies. maybe, i'll write a letter. like a REAL letter, not a 10 K email. i don't really know who i'd send a letter to. i know, the only way i'll be able to do all this great creative stuff is if i discipline myself to do it. SO, here's my plan (i'm making this up as i go, it will probably need revisions, so feel free to leave a comment and help me out):

i'll make a checklist, with certain guidelines, that features every type of writing i mentioned above (plus some more). now, i'm going to organize in such a way, that every week i should have done something to either start, continue on, or finish one of these goals. so how does this look:

June
----
[] write a song
[] write a poem
[] write a letter
[] write a short story
[] start writing a novel

for the following months, i'll do the same task, or continue working on one of those.

well, it's quite ambitious i know. wish me luck?

Jamison.

the eraser.

1. the eraser.
he has this crazy way of making a melody, with barely any kind of instrumentation. with only two chords playing, he still can make something really listenable. and when the background voices come in..that's nice.
whoa...the down modulation in between the chorus and second verse.
it's like..a mature, less poppy postal service.
the beat at the end is so laid back, and relaxing, yet busy at the same time.

2. analyse.
this has much more of a 'hail to the theif' feel, a bit minor, with lots of piano/electronic beat. almost an eastern feel, with the drums. a tabla or sitar would fit in.
this has a very epic feel to it. it keeps growing, and adding layers.

3. the clock.
the panning on this record has been amazing so far. listening in headphones makes it a treat. thom beat boxing, look out. the instrumentation has been really well done so far, on the whole record. i can't tell whether it's a guitar playing the main melody, but it's got a really cool sound. it's really distorted and fuzzy.
there's a real urgency in this song. like you can see someone running down a back alley, in a black and white film.
a really great ending.

4. black swan.
this is the first time i can hear recognizable guitars, bass and electric. the guitars definetly take precident over the beat, but the vocals are still the loudest in the mix. "you cannot kickstart a dead horse, you just crush itself, and walk away".
this is probably the least melodic of the tracks so far, not incredibly impressive, but...that synth part is cool in the "bridge".

5. skip divided.
the bass synth melody is really cool. the atmosphere is really cool. all the diffrent things being added to the layers. its definetly building up to something. the vocals are really hypnotizing. again, not an overly melodic song, but much better than the last.

6. atoms for peace.
another bass synth melody, but much more melodic. the vocals are higher, in a typical thom yorke range. whoaaaa, his vocal melody does some crazy things. this is much more optimistic. "no more leaky holes in your brain, and no more false starts". very laid back beat. this song feels like it could work on kid a, easily.
one of my favourite thus far.

7. and it rained all night.
starts with a distorted build up, into a dark, upbeat beat. this song also has a sense of urgency in it, with a dark, minor melody to it. it almost has a house, dance feel to it. lots more layers get added, and it feels like a 'hard-to-dance-to', unstereotypical dance song. like a daft punk song, with more offbeats. i like his rising vocal melody.

8. harrowdown hill.
feels like another 'hail to the theif' b-side. like 'where bluebirds fly' or 'paperbag writer'. another bass melody, with sustaining drones. "we think the same things at the same time, we just can't do anything about it". the beat drops out and fades back in for the second verse. the second vocal part, the echo, sounds really cool in the left speaker. the piano sounds amazing. fits the song perfectly. the guitar as well, fits the feel of the song so well.

9. cymbal rush.
the start feels like a squarepusher or aphex twin beat. the piano fading in, underneath the drones, sounds really good. again, the more layers that get added, the better the song becomes. everything fades but the beat. just the piano, and a more standard, snare on 2 and 4 beat. you can just feel it building up. no climax.

it's a good record. not very memorable, not one real standout song, but still very good. it doesn't seem like the build ups in most of the song climaxed as big as most radiohead songs do. still, a good record, and definetly worth the money to pick up.

he moved in slow motion.

it's been so long! forget how i am, how are you? (feel free to leave answer in comments)

in my absence, here's what i've done:
a. quit work
b. watched season 1 of scrubs
c. bought a new guitar
d. discovered The Format

what more can i say.

see you on the road in june.

Jamison.

please be.

its funny how decieving looks can really be. we're so quick to assume that we know what a person is like, before we even get a chance to figure out for ourselves.

example:
this evening, the guys and i went to see a worship band that we used to go to school with. when we pulled up to the church, there was this kid skating, and doing a pretty good job of it. the first thing to pop into my head was, "i wonder if this kid knows what's going on inside the church tonight". as we stood in the church foyer chatting and occasionaly looking outside to see this kid land another three flip, that thought kept coming to me. eventually he made his way inside, and started talking to some of the other kids. as the concert started, and kids started singing and worshipping, i noticed that kid at the front, hand in the air, singing his heart out to God. i was taken back at the fact that i had silently stereotyped him as just some kid who skates.

it's funny how often i'm trying to defend myself from being stereotyped, when i'm really just as bad as anyone. so to anyone that i may have judged (outrightly, or just silently): i apologize. you didn't deserve it, and i'm sorry. and to anyone that may have offended me by placing me in a stereotype, i'm sorry i over reacted. i realize now how often i do the exact same thing.

hope you're doing well.

Jamison

happy birthday drew!

drews birthday pics here

morbidity/cardiac arrest on the ninth

what a sad ending.

how many people die every day.
how many people die for something they believe in.
how many people die in the arms of the one they love.

how many people die from not taking their heart medicine.

i don't think al was a bad guy. he was probably a really great guy actually. the kind of guy that would let you have the day off, if business got slow. his kids probably were embarressed of him, but deep down they knew that he loved them alot. al's wife probably really loved him too.

he probably loved her alot too.

how many people have to call their friend's wife, to tell her that their friend has just died.

death is all around us. it's inevitable.
but it still hurts.

even when you didn't know the deceased.
it still hurts.

life is so fragile. it's a like vapour.

what happens to us when we die.

i believe that those who believe in, and devote their lives to Jesus Christ will spend an eternity with him, in Heaven. i also believe that those who don't, will spend an eternity in Hell, a place that is so far away from God's love.

God loves every single human being so much. he sent his only son, who died so that we could spend that eternity with God. just the way he had planned in the begining.

i don't know what you believe.
all i can tell you is this:

when your vapour of a life is done, i hope and pray that you will get to spend it with the Creator. i hope that for every single human being on Earth.

so does God.

"For God so loved the world, that he gave his one and only son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish, but have eternal life."

Jamison.

we don't want our beliefs.

the one thing that really irritated me about my last year of college was the way that i thought my friends and i were being percieved. it seemed like the "good Christians" at the school looked down on us, because of our tight pants and black t-shirts. it's funny now how three of my best friends and i are now pecieved as those uptight Christians.

maybe when i looked at those people that I called uptight, they were really the same as me. and when people now look at me, and think i'm uptight, we're really just the same. what seperates the Christian that drinks, or smokes, and the Christian that doesn't involve themselves in that. i guess it's all in God's hands, but it still makes me think. am i any worse?

i take a certain level of pride in my faith, not to the point where i'm cocky about it, but just enough that i can raise my chin, and know that i have hope. of course, if i ever get to that point where i'm raising my chin, i immediatly feel remorse. there's so much in my life that i can do, to bring the word of God to the people, but what have i done?

moving along, the smashing pumpkins wrote some darn good music.

i knew it all along.

we've plotted our escape. says:
awww, ben and liz are having a baby

andy says:
yeah, a baby CAT

we've plotted our escape. says:
baaaaaaaaahahahahahaha

andy says:
turns out lizzy is part g-roy

we've plotted our escape. says:
i knew it all along

mixtape number one.

the "this is my day off, and i'm going to sit around and enjoy not working, but not get overly exstatic" mix:

1. mogwai - auto rock
2. final fantasy - this is the dream of win and reg
3. ben gibbard - farmer chords
4. the decemberists - the engine driver
5. sherwood - lake tahoe
6. the februarys - stereo disease
7. the postal service - grow old with me
8. the beatles - something
9. sufjan stevens - flint
10. rogue wave - california
11. destroyer - painter in your pocket
12. minus the bear - pachuca sunrise
13. moneen - there are a million reasons for why this may not work...and just one good one for why it will
14. the weakerthans - pamphleteer
15. radiohead - hunting bears
16. the album leaf - another day (revisited)
17. sigur ros - untitled (number four)
18. the most serene republic - you're a loose cannon mcarthur, but you get the job done. ("wait! there's just one more thing")

dig it! if you're not working, have a great day relaxing. if you are working, you'll be off soon!

Jamison.

it's official.

i live with the most depressing person i know!

here's the new captain video. it's fresh!



thats all for tonight. don't be a sloth; leave your house. unless you get tired at 8 oclock in the evening. then sit at home and live a tired and boring life.

Jamison.

i'd hope to.

solizare hooked me up with the new underoath record. he wasn't a big fan, but i'm digging it so far. it's alot diffrent then "they're only chasing safety", but good diffrent. it's a little...dirtier. more aggresive. but not like, in-your-face-bro-down hardcore. it's good. buy it when it comes out, it probably won't hurt.

so, i've been getting mad requests to post my adventure at castle fun park, the most fun place on earth. drew, matt, amber, rebecca and i went this saturday. we started off with mini golf. we all did pretty...meh. rebecca put her ball in the water, and we all laughed. it was hotter than a sauna in that place, i swear. the two couples in front of us took their sweet ace time, and for some reason we played super fast. so we were always stuck behind them. they spent more time laughing that golfing; i pretty much vommited the whole game away.

after minigolfing (i think i was tied for first. i mean i work at a golf course, of course i was first), we decided to spend money on short term fun, and played some ancient arcades. rebecca and i cheated like no body's business at that leaping frog game, and got 200 and some tickets off of it. drew and matt raved about the bubble game, and amber seemed enthralled by the ski-ball. oh, good story: my buddy sean from the golf course was at the ski ball things. i asked him what he was up to, and he said, "i'm just going to get behind that machine, and get some tokens". i didn't really know what he meant, until he ran up the ski-ball ramp, jumped over the side, and behind one of those shoot the balls at the little stuffed animal things. like ten minutes later he came out with like two handfuls of tokens. well done sean!

after toooooo much money spent, we went to tim horton's, and discussed the essentials: the much music vj search, online gaming, and lost theories. the night ended with drew and i trying to find my friend chris' house, to wish him a happy birthday. we never found it. either way, we listened to the hives alot, and it was a really great night.

alright, it's fact time:

FACT:
in five weeks, i'm handing in my two weeks notice!

FACT:
in seven weeks we leave for tour!

FACT:
blizzards are great. so is bocci. so is elizabethtown.

FACT:
i can't wait to find my claire.

fin.

new tremulance songs up.

right here.

dinner with the Archer and the Eagle

I first met the four lovely gentlemen of the Archer and the Eagle at a venue called The Exchange in Regina, Saskatchewan. My band Captain was playing our farewell show, before we moved to the west coast. We had the pleasure of playing with TAATE, as they were on their first ever prarie tour. Right from the moment of meeting them, both bands seemed to just hit it off. Since moving to BC, we've had the pleasure of playing a show in their hometown, and getting to make waffles for them on their way through town. Today I got a call that their van had broken down just outside my town, and they were looking for a place to hangout until their van was fixed. So Andy, Drew and I drove down to meet them for some Wendy's and some good times. I pulled out a pad and paper, and did a quick little interview with the boys. Here's the goodness:

Jamison: Who are you?
Matt (Guitar/Vocals): I'm Matt Watkins, and i play in a band called The Archer and the Eagle.
J: How old are you, Matt?
M: 22!
J: Tell me about your show this weekend.
M: It was alright. There were a good amount of kids, which always makes a show better.
J: So all the guys are ordering food, what are you going to get?
M: A Junior Bacon Cheeseburger, and a Baked Potatoe. No, TWO Jr. Bacon Cheeseburgers.
J: Your show with Minus the Bear is coming up pretty soon. You must be stoked.
M: Yes. They are a very good band, and the show is on the 14th in Kelowna, so you should be there. It's going to be awesome...amazing, and probably the best thing that anyone has ever done.
J: Oh i'll be there.
M: ...that's not a question.
J: Fair enough. One last question, why name your EP the "Ice Cream Social EP"?
M: Well, we couldn't think of anything better. It seemed happy, and everyone loves ice cream right? Except maybe people who are lactose intolarent.
J: So, Aaron just finished getting his food.
Aaron (Bass/Vocals): Hi, how are you?
J: I'm alright. So why are you in Chilliwack again?
A: I'm here for the crap smell in the air.
J: Yeah there are alot of farms around here. Speaking of which, if you could live on ANY kind of farm, what would it be?
A: A soda pop farm.
J: Could you describe your role in the band in only five words?
A: 1)I
2)Write
3)Really
4)Good
5)Music
J: If you could play with ANY band, who would it be?
A: (with no hesitation) The Get Up Kids. That's easy.
J: Which venue would it be at?
A: Ummmm...atlantis?
J: What are you doing tonight, want to come swimming?
A: I would, but i have to move tommorow.

Sad that Aaron wouldn't be joining our swimming fun, i moved on to the collective of Matt V and Jesse.

J: Let me start off with a really deep, philisophical question: Why?
Jesse (Drums): Why not?
J: Good answer. What are you guys drinking there.
Matt (Guitar): Fruitopia.
Jesse: Sprite.
J: Quick, who's your favourite band of all time!
M: The Getup Kids!
Jesse: (after much deliberation) Neutral Milk Hotel.
J: What would you say is your favourite music video?
M: That video by the Bronx, where that guy is rapping? You know?
J: Yeah, i think you told me about it.
Jesse: There are so many. I'd probably say "Untitled #1" by Sigur Ros.
J: Oooh, that's one of my favourites too. So i read this Myspace bulletin survey thing, and one question was, "If you could reunite any band, with all living members, who would it be?" What do you think?
M: Clever. They were a local band.
Jesse: Refused.
J: I said At The Drive-In, but Refused is good too. Hmmm, i'm running out of decent questions...Who would you say is your favourite band out of Alberta?
Matt and Jesse: Choke.
Aaron: Choke
Matt W: (to Aaron) You liked Nikola Tesla more than Choke?
Aaron: No, that's why i answered Choke.
J: I said Nickelback. But what do i know. Here's a good one: If you could describe yourself in one Internet lingo acronym, what would it be?
Jesse: LOLercaust. Like Holocaust?
J: Yikes. Alright, and for one final question, what is your all time favourite movie.
Matt: The Truman Show!
Jesse: I have so many favourites, ummmm...
J: Quick, just the first one that comes to mind.
Jesse: 21 Grams!?
J: I haven't seen it, but that works.

After the interview, we had ninja swordfights with plastic swords, and had huge hugs in Wendy's. Do yourself a favour and check these boys catchy as heck music. It will make you tap your toes.

TAATE on MySpace

Alright kids, i hope you enjoyed that. If you like this kind of stuff, let me know. I know like EVERY band ever, so interviews won't be hard. That was a joke by the way. ANYWAYS, i'll see you all tommorow.

an orchestrated rise to fall.

here's what's up this rainy saturday night:

• Crazy, by Gnarls Barkley, is still hotter than ever.
• Work was rainy today. But really busy, so i kept occupied.
• I'm looking forward to my "weekend", tommorow and Monday. I'm stoked on sleeping in, you don't even know.
• Last night was so much fun. Everyone (minus Rebecca and Rachel, tsk tsk tsk) were at the show. It was so much fun seeing the Archer and the Eagle guys. There were mad hugs all around. We went out to eat with Jessi Anne (who has a cat named "skeet", and i can't get over how funny that is), and i don't think she got most of our jokes. She laughed anyways, because she's the best. Oh yeah, and the Febs slayed.
• I'm wicked bored right now.
• This morning I watched my cat run after birds, and try to eat them. Maybe one of the funniest things i saw all day. Unfortunately, my cat is NOT named "skeet" which makes it less funny.
• Man, catchiest song in my ears: Get Comfortable, by the Junior Varsity. Find it on Myspace, you won't be let down. The opening riff makes me shake my bottom.
• Let me check for one second...yep Crazy is still unbelievably hot.

Alright, time to see who wants to have a deep and meaningful conversation on MSN. See you tommorow.

sounds like fiction.

today i listened.

for like the first time, in a long while, i just stopped. i stopped thinking. i stopped worrying. i stopped breathing for a few seconds, and kind of felt light headed. ok, so i didn't do the last one. anyways, today i stopped, and listened. i just took in everything that was in front of me: a huge valley, with mountains higher than clouds, staring down at me. i watched as people drove down the highway in micro machines, off to dinner, or birthday parties, or good times with friends. it's pretty hard to be pessimistic with a beautiful sunset in front of you. i watched as the wind blew the leaves and the grass and the trees down the hill that i was standing atop.

it was only a few minutes out of my day, but it was really nice, and it made me appreciate all the good in my life.

see you tommorow.

i'll keep waiting for you.

just an all around good weekend.

friday night, i convinced andy to drive to langley to go see sherwood/the fold/tokyo rose and those darling februarys. the show was really great. it was great to see all those lovely langley folks again. musically the show was a hit:

the febs opened the night with a set of crowd favourites. seriously, if lucas' voice wasn't feeling great on a night they played in langley, the crowd would take care of everything. you could tell that the guys wanted to bring their a-game, and they did.

tokyo rose's first song was REALLY cool. but i really didn't get too into their songs. musically, they were wicked tight, and for their younger age, you could tell that they'll be around for a while.

the fold were up next, and they put on a really great set. they had that look like they were just LOVING what they were doing, and that's always great to see in a band. after the show, i got a chance to talk to them, and they were all incredibly nice guys.

headlining the night was the loveable sherwood. i could not help but smiling their entire set. their music was so much fun, and they were so entertaining to watch. their keyboard player was one of the most entertaining musicians i've ever seen play. expect HUGE things from this band.

after the show i put on my PR hat, and handed out captain cds to the bands (lucas didn't have a finished copy, so i definetly needed to give him one). the bands were all super nice about it, and they definetly showed interest, rather than being total rockstars about it...and that was friday!

i had to work all saturday which was alllright. it was pretty busy all day, but very steady, which was nice. from about 5:30 to 6:00, my co-worker sean and i just practiced our putting on the putting green. i made some AWFUL shots, believe me. when we closed of the pro shop, the other guy i was working with, adam, and i went out to hole one, to play the first few holes, while the sun was setting. as boring or long as my day might have been, that view as we teed off on hole 1 made it all better. adam shot it about three feet from the pole, which is pretty unreal concidering he hadn't swung a club in like a year or two. my drives were mehhh, but from the fairway i was on. i bogeyd the first two holes which weren't bad considering i hadn't played in like at LEAST three years.

listen to all that golf lingo. hey, when you spend 35 hours a week at a course, you kind of HAVE to be into it.

then after work, andy, rob and i went out for supper at "pizza hut", which turned into dairy queen, seeing as we had no idea where a pizza hut was in our area. of course we ended up at the java hut for coffee before we headed home.

i had today off, and i get tommorow too. so i plan on sleeping in and enjoying a nice day of watching tv and eating goldfish.

hope you all had a great weekend. here are the links to those bands from friday night. check them all out, they deserve it:
http://www.myspace.com/thefebruarys
http://www.myspace.com/tokyorose
http://www.myspace.com/thefold
http://www.myspace.com/sherwood

see you tommorow.

maybe all i need.

i just finished watching the second disc of the wilco documentary, "i am trying to break your heart." if you haven't seen it, and you have hands, you should buy it. i'm still kicking myself for passing up an oppurtunity to see jeff tweedy live in vancouver. what can you do.

seriously though, i don't know what my life would be like without bands like wilco. without music that i can look forward to listening to on my way home from work. i think that's the kind of music i want to make. the kind that keeps you going throughout your day, that gets stuck in there, and just won't come out. i tried to remember the first time i listened to a band that i really felt that...amazed feeling. it's sad to think that i haven't experienced that feeling in a while.

though i may not be able to remember that feeling, i can remember the first time i ever heard a wilco song. i was in grade four or five maybe. (just thinking about that makes me feel so old). anyways, wilco's first single ever (i'm pretty sure) "outta sight, outta mind", was a new entry on the Much Music Countdown, and i remember seeing the video. i don't think i had an opinion on the song either way. i think i was more excited about the weezer video that followed it, but nevertheless. it's funny to think that so many years later that band made such a lasting impression. if i'm forty, and i can't remember who wilco was, remind me. please. i'll probably be pretty stoked.

once again, i think there's a great moral to be learnt here: buy every single release that wilco has put out.

you know what, while you're at it, just pick up all of radiohead's stuff too.

you tube findings.

i'm telling you. youtube might be one of the best things ever:






the main character in both of these videos is a comedian from new york, named Aziz Ansari. search him on youtube, all his stuff is golden.

original, not lemon.

http://www.myvideoblog.co.uk/

maybe the weirdest, funniest thing you'll ever see.
thanks thome yorke!

the importance of socks.

man, boards of canada are really good right now. if you've never heard, go to your local record shoppe, and pick up anything by them. honestly, anything you buy will be good. they're like socks. it may take a few trys to get used to, but once they're worn in, they fit like a dream. somehow that applies to boards of canada. actually now that i think about it, i haven't worn a new pair of socks in like forever. if i had an infinite amount of money, i think having a fresh pair of socks and underwear to wear, every morning would suit me just fine. i'll let you know when that happens.

fun fact: for christmas, i got two huge containers of "cows" (a candy with toffee and choclate) and "double lollies" (a lolliepop with two diffrent flavour layers). the cows were gone in like a month, but i still have the double lollies, and right now, they're just as good as boards of canada are.

so, what have we learnt here today:
1. Boards of Canda = Good.
2. Double Lollies = Good.
3. New Socks = Good.
4. A lack of the above = Bad.

see you guys tommorow.

back in fashion!

i've had all these thoughts in my head lately (the kind of dreaming, aspiring, thoughts of change and production) and there comes a point in a person's life, when those thoughts seem to drive you to actually go ahead and do something.

so here i am! i figured i write enough blogs on myspace, why not have a nice little site for them. but unlike myspace, i'd like to use the site for alot more then just you're average, day-to-day blog: posting photography, writings, lyrics, band profiles, whatever you want!

i'm calling it a night. hope to see you tommorow.